Jon Gruden has pretty much cemented himself as the John Madden of the 21st century. There is truly no other choice than to be conversely obsessed with listening to his color commentary and wondering WTF is going on inside the Grudens brain.
He clearly knows his football, no doubt about it. He’s got a Superbowl ring and I’ve got a ring from a box of Cracker Jacks.
Everything Jon Gruden says that’s baffling and weird needs to be permanently recorded, in this day and age of the Twitters this is your record of the amazing shit that Jon Gruden Says.
Welcome to Shit Jon Gruden Says (SJGS).
Because I’m fundamentally a lazy prick, I’m pulling most of these quotes from the ever vigilant and really hard working folks at https://twitter.com/GrudenMNFQuotes give them a follow:
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JG’s weird obsession with Luck’s voice:
“It’s such a deep scratchy voice, I’m surprised Luck doesn’t need throat lozengers in the third quarter” #JonGruden #MNF
— Jon Gruden MNF Quote (@GrudenMNFQuotes) September 16, 2014
Awkward:
“Look at him (Suh) penetrate off of the backside.” #JonGruden #MNF #LionsGiants
— Jon Gruden MNF Quote (@GrudenMNFQuotes) September 8, 2014
Possible greatness? I have no clue:
“It’s like Mick Jagger learning the lyrics of The Who” #JonGruden #MNF #Manziel
— Jon Gruden MNF Quote (@GrudenMNFQuotes) August 19, 2014
This makes no fucking sense JG, guessing you like Johnny Football’s speed?:
“If any QB can complete passes to himself, it’s Johnny Manziel.” #JonGruden #Manziel #ClevelandBrowns
— Jon Gruden MNF Quote (@GrudenMNFQuotes) May 10, 2014
We need more of this JG, much more of this:
“I want to see Tebow throw a few, Mike.” Rex puts Tebow in for a drive. “I have no idea what they’re doing, Mike.” #JonGruden #MNF
— Jon Gruden MNF Quote (@GrudenMNFQuotes) April 8, 2014
I have no idea what you’re saying:
“I call it the amoeba package cuz I have no idea what it is.” #OutbackBowl #JonGruden
— Jon Gruden MNF Quote (@GrudenMNFQuotes) January 1, 2014