March Madness : Everything You Need To Know

Today (March 17th) is the day people.

It’s the insane off the hook launch of March madness known as the Round of 64 (sexy).

This year we’ll be prognosticating, predicting, joking, sweating, cheering and crying with the rest of you about a game (College Basketball) we really only pay attention to from March 17th to April 4th.

But that’s just us. We suck that way.

College Basketball is one of the most exciting games out there, when you have time to follow the 6573 teams with kids I’ve never heard of who are playing their hearts out.

So be wary, dear reader, we’re coming at this with bandwagon prognostication. Enjoy.


We’re also very aware that 95% of Canadians and Americans watching March madness watch NCAA Men’s Basketball ONCE per year. So wait for it, because we’ll be giving you the best one-liners to make your pals think you’re a sports genius.


NCAA Men’s Basket Championship Tournament Updates and Topics

March Madness Madness
Round of 64 Updates


The important stuff first. Here’s what famous people who know nothing about sports are saying.

March Madness Madness


Buzz Aldrin talks March Madness, Mars Exploration and Basketball on Mars

Old awesome guy gets old, crazy and more awesome. I’m cool with that.

If you don’t know very much about things, if there’s a little bit of a crutch that you can employ, you better use it,” Aldrin said. “Or you gotta justify why you chose to be different. And you’re probably going to pay the penalty for being different if you don’t know what’s going on.

I guess I kind of understand that statement.

My entire life has been hobbling then hopping from one crutch to another then paying penalties then not knowing what is going on so awesome Buzz.

I getcha bro.

No I don’t, in fact I have no clue what I just wrote there.

The Joy of Bracketology (Indeed!)

This reminds me of the time at Bodog Sportsbook when a few hundred of us had March Madness brackets complete.

Even the best lines makers in the company were all beat by the one girl in Customer Service who picked the winning bracket based on her favourite jersey colours.

True story.

In nearly every workplace bracket competition I’ve ever participated, some neophyte survives a few wacky first-weekend bracket-busting upsets because they once went to a party at Florida Gulf Coast University and thus picked them to win in the first round despite being a 15 seed. Said newbie then goes on to celebrate with my beer money three weeks later on Championship Monday. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have fun.

How To Finish Last in your March Madness Bracket

Aim high. Never stop achieving.

Big Words. Funny Words. Trump is an idiot. That is all.

The “Road to the White House” is not synonymous with the Road to the Final Four. Sure, both are overwrought with meaningless polls, foreign-born aspirants (Ted Cruz, meet Buddy Hield) and unruly mobs. Also, the sets, the graphics and the endless parade of bloviators make cable news coverage of the presidential race almost indistinguishable from CBS’s coverage of the NCAA tournament (n.b., CBS analyst Seth Davis is the son of former White House counsel Lanny Davis).

Can Bing Finally Pick the Perfect Bracket?

Um. No but if for some reason Bing Predicts does make it happen, SkyNet will activate and our robot overlords will hopefully be benevolent.

That might make it sound like Bing is a bit of bandwagon fan, jumping on board with whatever team people are talking about, but the system seemed to work out OK last year. “Our predictions for [the NCAA tournament] were in the upper 30 percent,” Sun said.

On the Bing Predicts site, it claims to have been 73 percent accurate during last year’s tournament, but that’s a pretty generous assessment of the actual results. Once the field was narrowed after the First Four games, Bing did accurately pick the winner of 47 out of 64 games—enough for the claimed 73 percent success rate.

But Bing Predicts wasn’t playing by the same rules as everyone else to get to that score. It analyzed each game individually to arrive at that figure, revising the winner based on who actually advanced. In the bracket that it filled out like everyone else, picking every game—including the First Four—before the tournament begins, Bing Predicts scored 41 out of 67 games correctly. That’s good for a 61 percent success rate.

Americans will spend $9.2 Billion in Betting March Madness

Sports Betting is NOT a thing in the US. Nooooooo.



Stay Tuned for More on the 2016 Men’s College Championship Tournament.

We’re trying not to make this the crappiest blog post on March Madness ever, but it’s hard and we’re not sure it’s working since we’re actually not working very hard at all.

It also strikes me that I haven’t written a single thing about one match up in the tournament. Not one.

So here it is people: Chatanooga is taking the Championship. 

Choo-choo b*tches.

Round of 64 Update – Thursday, March 17, 5PM EDT


Games are underway and the big brains at Five Thirty Eight appear to be killing it (so far). Duke, Butler, UConn, Iowa State are all moving on.

Check out their March Madness prediction page right here, it’s pretty awesome.


March Madness 2016 Results

What do you think?

Written by Dan Nedelko

Insanely curious, always absorbing and learning Dan is a writer, photographer, coder, sports and science fan. You can find Dan on Twitter @Dannomatic.

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